


Can I be selfish? (For the first time)

by Seungbinonthelow



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sorry I'm going through a lot, Suicide, Time - Freeform, sad soonyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 19:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20644343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seungbinonthelow/pseuds/Seungbinonthelow
Summary: Soonyoung wanted to be selfish for the first time and say he's not okay.





	Can I be selfish? (For the first time)

Soonyoung usually loved the rain, he loved the lovely sound the rain would make when it poured on his rooftop, he loved how relaxing it was. But, he couldn't bring himself to like it in this situation, he hated it.

There he was walking home on the pouring rain, drenched from head to toe. He was walking home from the practice room alone, since he was the only member that had stayed behind. Soonyoung just needed time and space for himself and the only way he could get was by staying in the practice room late. 

It was hard having to pretend to be happy when he was actually not. It was hard, so fucking hard. But, he couldn't be selfish he had a group he needed to move forward. Maybe he could go, they could move forward without him, right? They don't need him to choreograph songs, they had Chan, Minghao, and Jun, they could do the job. Right?

Opening the front door as quietly as possible, taking in caution the members were probably sleeping, he walked in closing the door after him. Making it to his and Jihoons shared room he threw himself on his bed after getting out of his drenched clothes, with a soft oof.

"Soonyoungie?" Calls out Jihoon from the other side of the room, voice scratchy from sleep making Soonyoung jump slightly.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Says Soonyoung as Jihoon sits up on his bed and stares at him boring circles into his layed back. Ignoring his question Jihoon got up amd made his way towards Soonyoungs bed.

"Something's wrong. Right?" Silence. 

"Soonyoung, there is something wrong. Right?" Asks Jihoon this time his voice softer than before. Sitting on Soonyoungs bed back leaning against the headboard, pulling Soonyoung onto his lap. 

"Talk to me baby what's wrong, bub?" Soonyoung doesn't know if it's the fact that Jihoons voice is so soft or the fact that he is so sad but he starts crying. He sobs warm fat tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. He cries away all the pain he has been feeling for so long, all the pain his kind heart has held in for so long. 

"It's okay bub, let it all out. Be as loud as you want cry, scream, be selfish." It's all Soonyoung wanted, to be selfish and let people know he hurts. To let people know he isn't always okay, that he hurts too. 

He falls apart and Jihoon is there to build him back up, slowly and softly. Soonyoung cries his heart out that night, crying all the pain he had bottled up in his heart so long. But, he is not alone Jihoon is there holding him tight until he falls asleep.

We are all so caught up in life that we don't realize our pain. We are too afraid to fall too deep into our feelings and not have someone to pick us back up, that we forget that it's okay to cry. Scream, sob, cry all you want because after all it's okay to cry.

**Author's Note:**

> This really relates to me and what I am going through. I felt like this was a better way to express myself I guess. Only that I have no one to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay.


End file.
